People usually say that to someone going through a crisis. I don’t doubt their sincerity (at least for some anyway) but let me be frank: in my experience, it doesn’t mean anything. Why not? Let me count the ways.

For one, I can’t be for certain which one can provide what I need.

Second, I have approached people whom I knew could but only to be met with a “sorry…” I am not somebody who is used to picking up the phone and asking for help. The fact that I am calling is an indication of desperation and hearing the word, “sorry” only adds to the despair. 

Third, sometimes, I don’t even know what I need. And this is where I truly appreciate the grace of God through the thoughtfulness of my friends. 

• When my mom passed away, I didn’t know I needed someone to keep me company on the first lonely night but a friend did. She didn’t even ask if she could. She just drove me home and stayed the night. 

• I didn’t know how comforting the daily presence of a friend at the wake could be but my friend did. In fact, his support during that time launched a ministry in me. Since then, I resolved to pay my respects to friends and acquaintances in their time of loss or sickness. It even became a running joke in one instance where I was emotionally affected during a cremation. No one in the family was crying and I didn’t even know the person who died. I was just the friend of the siblings’.

Lastly, if you know what I need, why wait for me to ask for it when I am probably in a state of shock, numbness, anxiety, or fatigue?

For almost half a year now, I have been battling this strange condition that has baffled my doctors. The only thing they could rule out was I didn’t have any life- and limb-threatening diseases. And once again, I experience the grace of God through the kindness of my friends who did not wait for me to “let them know.” 

• A couple drove me to the hospital where the wife took the initiative of joining me in the consultation to help me make sense of what the doctor was saying as the words were not sinking in. 

• A pastor took time out from his work to accompany me to the doctor who remarked, “Doble-doble na ang support mo----physical sa akin, spiritual sa kanya.” 

• Friends have driven me to church, two upon arrival from Bicol and Canada. 

• Another friend from the States rearranged my room to make it more accessible for me and my stiff leg. 

• One friend gave me tips on how to deal with pain and her husband made sure I followed it. He saw from one FB picture post how I violated one tip. Hahaha 

• Another friend is on the verge of giving me a sermon because of my pig-headedness as he helps me figure out what else I can do to alleviate the pain while a different friend showed me ways I could do to take my mind off it.

• Another friend accompanied me to my MRI treatment which meant a lot to me considering how claustrophobic I can be. She even volunteered her sister to my EMG test. Hahaha

• Friends have also braved the traffic, the flooding, and a typhoon just to spend time with me. One took Angkas and we’re talking of a friend who is feminine in her ways! Pastors and their wives have driven all the way from Antipolo, Mandaluyong, and Pasig to be a source of encouragement. 

• Missionary friends from abroad took time out from their busy schedule to be with me. 

• Another couple brought me to the ER when my fever reached a high of 39.4. The wife had the prescience to bring blankets, socks, and essential oils to keep me warm as I shook uncontrollably. Then they took me to their house to rest and recuperate for 48 hours.

• And of course, the friends who not only prayed for me, but prayed with me.

Truly, friends who are in need are friends indeed especially friends who do not wait for me to let them know what I need but simply took action. May God bless them. I would like to name them here but some might be too embarrassed so I will just send the link to this article to them as my way of thanking them. I will also whisper in God’s ear to add one floor in their heavenly mansion for the love and care they have shown their humbled sister in Christ.