2019 LOCKDOWN
A lot of people are in a reflective mood nowadays, realizing what is truly important. Not I.
Not I because I did all that for the better part of 2019 when I was diagnosed with a condition that made me housebound for months where life passed me by. Everybody else was doing what I used to do: travel, watch concerts and plays, shop, work, go to church, etc. and there I was lying in bed reflecting about all the things people are doing now. I wasn't the type to take my blessings for granted but in my pain, I realized there were still things I took for granted:
Sitting without pain.
Walking without pain.
Driving without pain.
Sleeping without pain.
Bending without pain.
Basically just being without pain.
Then I got tired of it all. I said no to letting pain dictate my life. I took back my life. I resumed all the things I used to do slowly, one step at a time. I got so good at being normal again that people were telling me, "Para ka naman walang sakit." I then started planning on resuming the one thing I missed the most---travel. I vowed, "Pain or no pain, I am adding more stamps in my passport in 2020." And then you-know-what happened.
I thought I was going to freak out being housebound again, and still with the pain that doctors said might stay for a lifetime but surprisingly, I was---uh, normal while others were pensive, pondering, and even worried for me. Maybe it's because I'm done with that drama during my 2019 personal lockdown. Oh don't get me wrong. I am not saying I feel no fear against a droplet but it has not weighed me down. Strangely enough, in the valley of the shadow of death, I feel more alive than ever.